Chapter Forty-Three

Taylor

I had been poked and prodded, talked to and about and in the end of it all, I felt more violated than I had after the actual event had taken place. They asked me to describe what happened. That was three times in one day. Three times in less than six hours. Six hours ago I wasn’t even sure if I could tell the story once and now I was being asked to tell it a third time. So I told it and they kept asking for strange details. I was amazed at what I didn’t remember. A lot of what I did remember, I didn’t actually know was fact because a lot of it I had seen in my dreams. My dreams were drawn from reality, but that didn’t mean everything in them had actually happened. They took my lack of direct answers as nervousness and fear. They spoke in comforting tones, but it was all so impersonal. It wasn’t like when I told Parker. It wasn’t like when I told my parents. No one was going to hug me and kiss me or put their hand on my arm and tell me it was okay. True, there was a nurse holding my hand and speaking in soothing tones, telling me what was going on and what the doctors were doing, but she wasn’t the one asking the questions, so it was different. Somehow that lack of a guarantee of real comfort made the truth harder.
Even still, I answered the questions as best I could and kept my thoughts in a different place during pauses. I wondered if they had called Annie like I had asked. I wondered about the book I was reading, what was going to happen next and thinking about what had already happened.
I wondered what everyone in the waiting room was thinking about sometimes and if I could wonder the same things. At least they had each other to use for distraction if it was needed. I was alone. My mother had tried to come in with me, but they said for privacy reasons they wanted me alone.
At the end of it all, I was sitting on the edge of an uncomfortable bed in a drafy hospital room wearing a skimpy hospital gown, trying not to listen to the doctors in the corner discussing things in hushed tones. All I wanted was my clothes back and to forget everything.
One of the doctors walked over to me. He smiled at me warmly, something he hadn’t done the entire time he was doing the examination. I raised my eyebrow at him, feeling very Parker-esque as I did so. He hesitated before talking to me and at first, I thought he was going to ask me for an autograph or something. That’s just what I needed. What would I sign? “Thanks for looking in my private places and asking me horrible questions. --Taylor Hanson”
But what he actually said was,
“Okay, we’re not going to know for sure about everything for a few days, but so far everything looks a-okay,” he told me, sitting on a stool and facing me. “Now, you remember our discussion of what we can keep confidential and we have to tell the police, right?”
I nodded. Actually, it had been the comforting nurse who had described all that to me, but I was tired and I was uncomfortable and I was cold and I wanted my parents and my brothers to be there with me.
“Good,” he said. “And Dr. Martin came in here to talk with you.”
I nodded again, remembering the tall young woman with the long blonde hair. The psychologist.
“Well, she’s going to refer your parents to some counselors you can see about all of this, to help you deal with it. To help them deal with it, if they need to,” he said.
“Okay,” I said. I think it might have expected me to protest, but I didn’t feel like it then. Hell, I needed a shrink. And not just for this.
He smiled at me. “You were very brave today, Taylor,” he said.
Please don’t pull out the lollipops.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
He smiled at me again. “You can get dressed now. I’ll go talk to your family.”
He said it like he was going to go tell them that some major surgery I was supposed to have was unsuccessful. He seemed like a nice guy, but it was obvious he took his job way too seriously. Well, it was better than the alternative.
I rubbed my eyes wearily after I had put my own clothes back on. The doctor led my mother and father into the room and he discussed with them the tests and the idea of the counselor. They listened and agreed to everything. Dr. Martin came in and gave them her referrals and then left again. Then they let us go, saying they’d let us know about the other tests.
I was sandwiched protectively between my parents as we walked out into the waiting room where Parker, Isaac, Zac, Annie and Lawrence were waiting for me. I was relieved that they had actually called Annie. She ran up to me and gave me a huge hug and kiss. Lawrence just smiled a little from afar. Parker had grown distracted and didn’t even seem to notice I was in the room. Zac and Isaac both patted my shoulders encouragingly.
It was out. I didn’t have to pretend anymore.
If I hadn’t cried all I could cry that day already, I would have cried again. It was such a relief. This part of it was over. I didn’t have to hide it anymore.
But I knew that not everything was over as I glanced at Parker. He was being unusually silent and his hand kept reaching into his pocket. He needed to know. Now more than ever. As long as the secrets were flooding out.
But not tonight. I was too tired tonight to do anything about it.
**I'd like to say, as a disclaimer, that I did do a little research for this chapter and a few following chapters, but I know that my information may not have been all that accurate. Especially considering this was a few months after the actual event took place, I'm not completely sure how all of this would have played out.

Pllllllleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssseeee????
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Four