Ask Allison

Okay, so this is just something I'm doing for fun. I mentioned somewhere along the line that I was thinking about doing a Question and Answer page for the stories. I think I wanted to do this partly so you guys have some insight into the story (well, yeah, possibly) and so I can clear up a few things that seem to be common questions from you guys. I DO NOT recommend reading this page if you have not read through all that is posted of both of the stories unless you like getting plot twists spoiled (and some people do so they know more about what they're getting into). So, these are some of the questions I came up with and some of the readers came up with. They're in no particular order. Most of them are about Holding Onto Nothing and Divided We Fall as well, but if you have any questions about the short stories you want answered, I'd be happy to answers those as well. Enjoy!

Questions about the stories or myself you want answered? E-mail me here

QUESTION #1: WHERE DO THE TITLES COME FROM?

Well, I think many Tori Amos fans who have caught my various references to Tori Amos throughout the story know that the title Holding Onto Nothing comes from a song called "Pretty Good Year." I was sitting alone one night when I was about halfway through writing the middle of the story, then called Starting Point (I know that wasn't going to be the permanent name...it was just something to call it) and I needed some background noise. I put in Under the Pink and turned it up fairly loud (for me, anyway) and all of a sudden the line "well hold onto nothing as fast as you can" came up and I just stopped writing, listened to the rest of the song and then immediately went to the title page and changed the title.

As for Divided We Fall (by the way, is it more proper to call it Divided, We Fall or Divided We Fall? My mom seems to think there shouldn't be a comma, but I've always felt there should be...I'm not sure) you can thank my eighth grade Social Studies (a junior version of American History) class for that. We studied the Civil War and the teacher called our attention to a quote that I'm pretty certain Abraham Lincoln said: "United we stand, divided we fall." The original title was Take Me Home, but I thought Divided We Fall (Divided, We Fall?) spoke more to the theme of the story. So I changed it and it was good. :D

QUESTION #2: WHAT DOES "GNOTHI SEAUTON" MEAN?

Gnothi seauton, with its proper accents (there's no telling what it means without them...I know in French if you leave out accents, you could get two words that mean two very different things) is Greek for "know thyself." Another title I was considering for Divided We Fall. I found it in the "common foreign expressions" section of a Webster's Dictionary I have. I thought it would be neat to put there.

QUESTION #3: IS PARKER LOWELL REAL?

This seems to be one of the most common questions I get about the story. After nearly three years of working with the guy, he's very real to me. But as for whether or not he actually exists, if he's someone I know, I have to say no. He's a mix of a lot of people I know as all characters tend to be and has a lot of my personality traits in him, only exaggerated. But I don't know a Parker Lowell and I certainly don't know anyone who resembles Taylor Hanson. Unless you count my four year old cousin, but that's another story.

QUESTION #4: ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?

I'm a girl. This question actually makes me feel good. Someone once told me I don't write guys very well and if I'm getting this question, it must mean I'm doing an okay job of it.

QUESTION #5: HOW OLD ARE YOU?

At the time of this writing (September 2000), I'm sixteen years old.

QUESTION #6: HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE THE STORIES?

Holding Onto Nothing went through three drafts and all three of those took me about a year and a half. This was my first novel-length story and this is definitely where I learned the importance of revision. Despite the fact the finished version is much longer than the original version (by about 60 or 70 pages), there were scenes in the original that I had to cut out including a scene where Parker and Taylor decided to switch places for the day! I think those chapters are still somewhere...I might post them sometime just so you guys can see. They're pretty terrible, though.

Divided We Fall is still very much a work in progress and has taken much longer than Holding Onto Nothing, partly because during the original version I wrote through my writer's block instead of dealing with it properly. Plus, I'm writing the second draft as I'm going along. Lots of things are changing. As for the length of time I've worked on it so far, it just passed its two year mark in July. Eek!

QUESTION #7: WHERE DID THE INSPIRATION FOR THESE STORIES COME FROM?

Ever notice how much Isaac Hanson, Jonny Lang, and Kenny Wayne Shephard look a lot alike? Or at least how Jonny Lang and Kenny Wayne Shephard could pass for honorary Hanson brothers and no one would notice that they didn't belong in that particular family? Well, that was part of it. I was laying in bed one night, trying to think of a good idea for a Hanson story. I was just about to fall asleep when suddenly this thought came to mind and then I though...hey...Two Taylors are better than one (at least in my opinion...two Isaacs or two Zacs would be cool also). It took a while for me to properly start the story though. I tried and failed three times with three different beginnings. Finally, one day I wrote the sentence on the screen: "This story is hard to begin." And that was the beginning of that. I'm not making that up, either. :)

There are also other ways I was inspired, including an incident with my mother's half sister finding her birth father and being afraid to tell my grandfather about it. It wasn't nearly as disastrous as the story is but....what if?

QUESTION #8: ARE YOU ADOPTED?

According to my sister, my parents should be giving me back to the gypsies that entrusted them with my care as an infant any day now. According to my mother, my real mother's name is Bertha Buttfield. When I was little, I used to get scared that that was true. But I'm pretty certain it's not. No, I'm not adopted.

QUESTION #9: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED?

No. I did a little bit of research on the topic while writing the story, so Taylor's reactions are not based on my own. I know research is not always accurate though, so feel free to tell me if you think I'm portraying something in such a way that it wouldn't be in real life. I'd appreciate it.

QUESTION #10: WHY THE RAPE IN THE STORY?

When I originally wrote the scene, I was experimenting a little, I guess. I had just gotten done reading a story where one of the Hanson brothers was sexually abused and, though the thought "Hey, I want that in my story!" never occurred to me, before I knew it, it was there. I kept it in because it was a method to get Annie into the story. It's true that I could have picked much better ways of doing it, but there are other points to it, I think, that won't be understood until as yet unposted parts of Divided We Fall. I suppose it's not a real good excuse to say that it "wanted to be there," but really that's kind of what it was, too. I didn't do it for the shock (if I did, I would have gone into much more detail about what was happening) or for fun or to be hurtful and I'll confess that sometimes I wish it wasn't there at all, but I couldn't get around it while I was writing the story. I'll leave it up to you guys whether or not it was a good decision on my part, though.

QUESTION #11: WHY DID YOU WRITE IT SO THAT THE CHAPTERS SWITCH POINT OF VIEW?

Normally when I get this question, it's in reference to some confusion as the story goes on, especially with Holding Onto Nothing because the chapters aren't labeled. The truth of the matter is that I'm more accustomed to writing in the first person with characters. Probably because when I write, I always feel that they're telling their story to me and since most of them don't tend to speak in the third person, first person tends to be the way I write. One problem with first person narration though is that you can normally only speak from one person's actions or thoughts at a time. But when I started the story, I couldn't think of someone whose sole point of view the story should be told from. The original idea was to only have it be Taylor and Parker trading narration every three chapters or so, but then Isaac and Zac's points of view seemed important as well as Annie's. So I decided to switch between most everyone. I apologize for any confusion this causes, but there was really no other way I could have comfortably told the story. Everyone's thoughts needed to be in there, I felt.

QUESTION #12: HOW COME ANNIE CALLS REESE LAWRENCE BY HIS FIRST NAME AND EVERYONE ELSE CALLS HIM BY HIS LAST NAME?

LOL, another question born of confusion. Okay, there are several reasons for this. The most prominent being that in the first chapters where Annie narrates, I didn't want you to know who she was or I wanted to try and confuse you a little bit by never really saying her name and never really using her husband's name (I'm not sure if it actually turned out that way with her name, though). Since I needed her to refer to her husband by name every now and then and it was already mentioned somewhere that the man she may have married's name was Lawrence, I decided that Lawrence wasn't his first name so you'd be thrown off a little. I don't think it worked, though. :) Anyway, there's also the fact that I know people who prefer to be called by their middle names or their last names instead of their first names. It might show how close Annie and Reese Lawrence are if she's the only one allowed to call him Reese. Hm.

QUESTION #13: WHERE IS ROCHESTER?

Rochester is where I'm from as well where Parker and Gina live in the story (that's not the explanation :D). Rochester is the place responsible for all your Kodak moments (check on the back of your next package of Kodak film). It's a small city in Western New York about eight hours away from New York City (NYC seems to be a reference point for anyone who doesn't live here). And if you're into the Goo Goo Dolls or Ani DiFranco, it's about an hour and a half away from Buffalo, New York. It's also, according to some list, one of the least tourist friendly places in the whole of the United States. I don't know, we think we're pretty nice. And if you're into Arthur Shawcross or George Eastman, you might be interested in some of our sights. :) Anyway, if you want to know more Rochester Today.com is a good place to go.

QUESTION #14: WILL THERE BE A THIRD STORY AFTER DIVIDED WE FALL?

Okay, I thought about it. I really did. I thought I could fast forward a generation or so and show Parker and Taylor and their relationship as adults...but I don't think I could get an entire story to revolve around that. I don't really know what else I would do. The end of Divided We Fall will sort of give enough closure to the story anyway so that there's not really a need for a third story. Plus, I've been working on these stories for a long time and as fun and as frustrating as it's been, I think after this, there won't be anything more to say. So that's probably a no. In all likelihood, there won't be another one.

QUESTION #15: WHY IS JULIAN DREW USED IN BOTH HOLDING ONTO NOTHING AND FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES?

Julian Drew is one of those floating recurring characters that I think a lot of writers eventually find they have. In Holding Onto Nothing, he played a small part as Parker's best friend and in Friends in High Places, he played a much larger part as Taylor's former best friend. The connection wasn't meant to have any coincidental comment on the lives of long lost twins like when some find each other for the first time and discover they have spouses with similar names. He's just a character I'm very familiar and comfortable with because I've used him in so many things (including his own story, which is a whole other thing) and seemed like a good choice for Parker and Taylor's respective best friends. It just worked, I guess.

QUESTION #16: DID TAYLOR EVER GET DEVONNY WILCOX'S GET WELL CARD?!?

LOL, I have no idea. The scene was put in in order to show Parker accepting Taylor as his brother for the first time in a way. He never would have done that before, especially not in front of his friends. It showed some kind of acceptance, if nothing else. Whether or not Taylor ever receives the card probably won't be shown in the story since it only takes place over a few months...and it probably takes a hell of a long time for stuff like that to get to the Hansons.

QUESTION #17: HAVE YOU EVER MET HANSON?

Not yet. I'm feeling optimistic, though. You never know.

QUESTION #18: WHO ARE OCTOBER PROJECT?

October Project, the band I make reference to a few times in the story, is probably one of my favorite bands in the entire world. They only put out two albums before they broke up a few years ago and before they ever got a chance to get famous. The lyrics are just so poetic and the voice of the former lead singer is unusual. Almost like the voice of an opera singer. But they really were an excellent band. There's an incarnation of the band (same songwriters) called November Project touring small clubs and things right now. They came here a while ago and I was going to go see them, but I got sick that day and didn't get to go. Damnit! Anyway, if you're interested in reading some of their lyrics, you can read them here. They're beautiful.

QUESTION #19: ARE THERE ANYMORE HANSON STORIES AFTER DIVIDED WE FALL?

As far as I can tell, I'm probably not going to be doing any major Hanfic projects after Divided We Fall. There are a few short stories I'd like to post eventually and that's pretty muchit. I might start posting some non-Hanson stuff as well. But that's probably all.

QUESTION #20: HOW MUCH OF YOU OR THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW ARE IN YOUR CHARACTERS?

I once read part of a book called The Courage to Write and one of the subjects the author touched upon was a writer's fear to have characters based on people they know or have characters have experiences based on something that happened to someone you know. I think anyone I know in here other than myself (wow, that sounds arrogant) is pretty well disguised. If I have borrowed from the people I know, they probably wouldn't be able to tell. I didn't do it consciously if I did.

QUESTION #21: HOLDING ONTO NOTHING HAS ALWAYS SEEMED FAMILIAR TO ME...WHERE HAVE I SEEN IT BEFORE?

Probably in every long lost twin book or movie you've ever seen or read. Just kidding. Actually, this question is probably pretty obsolete considering it's been such a long time, but Holding Onto Nothing was originally hosted on AJ's Hanson Stories 'n' Stuff. But the page was abruptly shut down and a few months later I made my own page. One of the reasons I'm against hosting stories is you never know when the host is going to shut down their page. Grr...

QUESTION #22: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ROMANTIC HANSON STORIES?

Okay, so this question has never been directly asked, but I find myself answering it every time someone tells me they like that there's no romance in the story. There's not even a main teenaged girl character unless you count Theresa. But I'd like to say that I don't think my story is above anyone else's because of this. Sometimes I feel some people think that I think this just because I sort of make it a point to not have too much romance going on. The truth is, I'm just not all that comfortable writing teenaged female characters, as ironic as that probably sounds considering I am a teenaged girl. I find that I tend to make them either way too strong or way too weak and whiny. So I tried to leave that element out as much as possible, with only little hints between Theresa and Parker (or is it Theresa and Zac?). I make love stories way too melodramatic and I'm just not all that skilled at writing them. My first major Hanson story (which is now out of existence) was kind of a soap opera called I Saw You First involving Taylor falling in love with his best friend (a girl who lived next door named Alex) just as she's getting into a relationship with another guy (a perfectly nice guy named Caleb). When he goes out with her cousin to both distract himself and get back at her for forgetting him, they get into a car accident, he gets amnesia and as she's helping him deal, she realizes that she's falling in love with Taylor. All condensed into about sixty pages. It was bad. Taylor was a wuss and Alex was a bitch. I didn't think people would be interested. I have nothing against romantic stories at all, so never think that.

QUESTION #23: WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST HANSON STORY THAT YOU EVER READ?

Ike's Lady Love. I remember that very clearly. I was fascinated because I had never seen someone put their blatant fantasies about a celebrity into writing before. I read it all in one night (twenty-seven chapters) and immediately went, "I want to do that!" It took a while, though. I don't think it was until after I had read Walls and Roads that I actually began writing Hanson fan fiction.

QUESTION #24: WHAT WAS THE HARDEST PART OF THE STORY FOR YOU TO WRITE?

The rape scene and any description involving that was probably hard because I didn't know how much to actually say about what was going on. But everything about Parker's reaction to Annie as well. In the original, he was extremely bitter almost to the point of being evil, unfair, and no longer likable. I had to think how I wanted to express his emotions, show the character development and still have him be Parker at the same time. It was hard. (I can just see you going: "Ooookay" right now.)

QUESTION #25: IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT THE STORIES, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHY?

There are too many things to count. Looking at it from a finished perspective (well, DWF's not finished yet), there are a lot of other, easier routes or even more interesting routes I could have taken. What if Parker and Taylor had stayed switched? What if they ended up hating each other? What if Annie never showed up?

QUESTION #26: WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR NEW HANFIC WRITERS? Arrogant? Me? No. :) Sorry. No one's ever actually asked me this, but every writer gets asked this in every interview and since I just got a writing magazine chock full of this question, I thought I'd say something here. The truth is, I've sort of been behind in the Hanfic genre since I started writing in it. I didn't even know people were starting to make the Hanson characters gay until someone mentioned it on a mailing list I'm on. So I don't know what's out there right now, specifically. But I think some universal advice (not to mention a bit cliche) is dare to be different. Even if people don't like what you did that was different, you'll always get acknowledged for originality. And revise, damnit! Revise! I'll give you ten good reasons it's a good thing I cut out the whole Taylor and Parker switch places thing that pertain to revision stuff. It sucks doing it sometimes, but you will be so much happier with your story afterwards. Trust me.

Send questions and comments here. :)
Holding Onto Nothing
Divided We Fall